Celebrating is wonderful.
There is this sense of euphoria to feel when knowing that something central is focused upon a momentous event.
What do we celebrate, however?
Perhaps the bigger question is, why?
When our oldest won high school state in wrestling, I quietly celebrated to feel the glory to God being exposed to the eyes and ears taking note.
Whether they celebrated the win with us or not, the undeniable victory took place in history.
My husband was more than thrilled to take our son to get a letterman jacket to signify the momentous event. All white with all of our son’s earned academic and athletic patches.
The jacket came together at a cost. That didn’t matter to my husband. He was honoring his son.
Both of us coming from metropolitan high schools, a letterman jacket was the ultimate indicator of a champion. Wearing one would be an inspiration for all to aim for one, too. Not just at your own school but wherever you went.
I still remember to this day when our son came home and how I excitedly but tamely asked how it felt to wear his jacket to school.
His response? It was something like, We don’t brag about our wins at our school.
I felt heavily despondent and crushed. I was stumped. What I first imagined in my mind that morning to be joyful faces high-fiving my son with congratulatory words now, with my son’s report, turned into somber looks and distaste for his open celebration.
It was at that moment I realized what I dreaded since the moment I first dropped him off to school in kindergarten coming to a heavy truth and reality.
That infiltration of mediocrity of the heart, mind, body, and spirit were being created by the dark spirits.
A bucket of water was being thrown on my son’s fire.
I should have told him to march back into that school the next day to wear his jacket in front of those who couldn’t accept his hard-earned victory. And, yet, I had to see how he would fight back at the world and the rain to his reign.
My husband and I fought our own wars (Still! Haha!) with the world. Our son, along with his siblings, will have to learn to fight their own.
What if I had suggested for him to do what I thought he should and he decide to do otherwise? His character of thought against mine.
The character of one must find out if they don’t already know who they are.
True character comes from not what tries to take one down but how one handles every attempt.
He will have to learn about himself and who he is amongst those he will find he is surrounded by or with.
The voice inside speaks until we listen.
I have asked God for discernment, to know right from wrong.
Funny. You think to not get an answer but I laugh now. I am in no doubt He knew what I would ask for before I even conjured the thought.
I began to discern so early on. I just had to go through the training of figuring how my own character would choose within each moment faced to make a decision.
After all, I asked for discernment, not to change me or my surroundings.
I recall the two birthdays I had been celebrated during my childhood.
Before I came to America, I recall celebrating my fifth (or, was it my sixth?) birthday in the southern part of the Philippines where I had been born.
Papa had an animal sacrificed, placed the blood of it on my forehead (something traditional there, I assumed) and said a little prayer under his breath.
I cannot recall anything else. That moment alone was special and dear to me because it was my very first birthday celebration to remember.
My next and only childhood memory of a birthday celebration had already placed me well into my ways and understanding of being American, having settled here shortly after the age of seven.
Sadly, one of my aunties and uncles divorced sometime following but to my fortune, my birthday had been minimally celebrated in the home they had bought having learned that it was my birthday.
I have a picture, all smiles, looking over a cake with candles that I’m not too sure if I actually remember blowing out the fire from each or every that I have just made-believe to have remembered since.
Nonetheless, they were two more than enough to brush off those forgotten in between.
I have joyfully celebrated anything I could since.
I never celebrate for my children because I feel to have missed out on mine.
To reflect, I don’t ever think that in my mind.
I’m not too sure what the excuse or reason was to not celebrate my birthdays but as Sara, my sixth grade classmate reminds me since, “You can’t miss what you never had.”
I celebrated and celebrate to this day because it is who I am. I cannot change those around me. I can still be me, however.
I celebrate my children before me everyday. They are each endless and mindful work within the nest but with my husband, they were and are our greatest company and friends since each arrived into our hands to the time they grew.
Celebrating for them was just me not being able to help being me.
I celebrate for those and with those who come to share moments.
If my husband and I were to just have our children alone to celebrate with, we would have more than enough.
You celebrate to simply bring joy to others. Smiles and laughters feel wonderful when you had something to do with bringing them to surface.
Winning, being victorious, deemed a champion, is an inner celebration, knowing the glory is all to God, as I deeply believe.
And, yet, the outside celebration is for others.
You don’t win for you. You win to prove you can. And, when you do, that shining light will pave the way for others to run toward it- to touch it, be a part of it, or, become it, too.
If there are those who cower away, curse at your light, try to gather others together with hopes and intent to bring your light down, awareness is all you need to give them.
In moments of glorious servitude, the Cains will grumble. Non -examples need be to clarify what to be or what to be a part of instead.
That letterman jacket to those who downed my son for wearing it?
Well, I smile to myself and quietly laugh now.
That jacket sits in our closet next to our older daughter’s well-earned one, too.
How many can attest to the same celebrations?
All of our five children have had many victories. There will be many more to celebrate, whether inwardly or for all to see or take part in.
Maybe there are some who can only handle birthdays and national holidays.
Anything more, well. That’s for those willing to go above and beyond.
When asked, “Who will be the one?”
There are those willing to say, “Here I am.”
And, then, there are those who actually follow through.
Joyful and triumphant.
I have joked that I can have fun on aisle 8 by myself at a grocery store. This is me.
Five children since the age of eighteen and now, fifty, I swear- I am still partying whenever, wherever I can in my head.
That’s where all my celebrations reside, you see.
Two birthday celebrations were far enough from the world around me.
I recall saving, seeing, buying costumes for my kids (to this day) where even if it was any uneventful Tuesday, I happily allowed my kids to dress up in their costumes even to the grocery store.
Why? Because it was Tuesday.
My birthday is on New Year’s Eve, born sometime after 10 pm, I was told, not quite to being the first child born on New Year’s Day, reminded of this many times that I never won anything.
I have always turned this around for myself as something even more special to me- God saved the best for last.
That’s how my heart, mind, body, and spirit roll.
I couldn’t wait to plan every one of my children’s birthdays.
Whatever I could manage, I went just a step up or ahead.
I was Mom and I could finally play family my way.
I didn’t just stop there. I wanted to celebrate everything I could. Easter, Independence Day, Halloween, Christmas had it coming each year.
I loved every moment.
Those were for whoever needed the fillings of joy. My children didn’t need them.
I laughed to myself when I asked my two youngest, now thirteen and newly, twelve, if they still were wanting an Easter egg hunt.
The thirteen years-old was like, “Uh, yeah.” As if this was a question he was completely surprised by.
Easter egg hunt, even if it were just the two of them, went on as usual.
Aside from understanding the purpose for celebrating Easter, the egg hunt was simply for their own joy.
I know the birthday celebrations are coming to an end soon and so will Halloween and Easter. These last blessings are child number four and five.
It’s not that I can predict with some future readings. I’ve just had about three decades of planning and executing these celebrations.
Soon, these youngest two will be the ones handing out the candies at the door or, be celebrating the events with their own friends.
I get this.
I’ve had them this long. I’ve certainly done my part to fill their memories.
What for the difference in my life as a child and theirs?
Would theirs be any better just because they had a mother overzealous to plan out events?
Or, will their lives as parents be with much less to mimic mine?
Which would have made them any better in character in heart, mind, body, and spirit?
Had I gone wrong in celebrating perhaps too much?
Was my everything theirs?
Should I have celebrated the straight As or the multiple awards above their peers instead of just expecting those out of them?
If I had celebrated each of those, would they have hungered for more achievements?
Should I have?
Does one become so full in celebrating everything that the hunger to celebrate diminishes?
When I look at my two youngest sons, I feel to be doing everything just right.
I reflectively realize that in celebrating with my oldest three, I was planning not for just my own child to celebrate but for those who would be attending.
I am the New Year’s Eve child. I have always wanted and have loved all to celebrate.
Celebrating what, why, and of course, how, is really to no one’s business. The real test is how others react to your celebration.
A colleague of mine even mentioned that she had yet to throw together any celebration for her daughters, the youngest being eight.
That quietly surprised me seeing how put together she always was.
And yet, was she wrong for her ways of mothering?
Were my ways smothering? (Perhaps short for so much mothering?)
Would either ways change the make-up of our children?
Would the celebrations or lack of centrally influence who each will become?
If one were to suggest celebrating birthdays at an adult age is just a sign that you have arrived to celebrate nothing else, is this true?
Or, as an adult, do we just arrive to celebrating each moment we get out of bed (smoothly and quickly without stiffness- lol), driving without traffic jams, sleeping without interruption, or going through another year with a passing annual exam?
I put on a pretty outfit with my husband and take another walk with him around the mall or a park, perhaps get a bite to eat during Happy Hour at one of our favorite eateries.
It’s a Tuesday.
What’s the occasion?
It’s a Tuesday.
What have I achieved?
A lot.
For whom? For those who never or have yet to get a chance.
Why?
Because, it’s Tuesday and together, wherever we are, we live.
We shine our light. Candles not needed.
I have had endless and momentous victories to celebrate. However, by the time I was speaking on behalf of my fellow classmates in high school, I had been trained to not celebrate outward.
Rather, I always felt the hugs and kisses from the inside. Funny thing is, I would then hear the remark, “I can’t wait to see what you can do next!”
This is how I feel about my writings and my paintings.
I celebrate each finish with great exhalation.
I only need to hear my youngest son say under his breath, “These could easily be selling for a million dollar each.”
No exclamation. Just his pure statement that makes me smile on the inside as I tell him each time, “thank you”.
I suppose I have a lot of millions in a room. King Midas has nothing on me.
Golden.
What for those who never knew when they were actually born?
What do they celebrate?
What for those who never blew a candle for anything?
What for those who never had the special anything?
What for those whose victories were to just make it to the next day or to the night?
You celebrate for them, I choose to perceive.
But, how?
Shine, I have embraced to believe.
Should we not celebrate for one another regardless of our own setbacks?
Are we not happy to see that at least there are others leading the light for the rest?
And, so, do we just celebrate birthdays and holidays to conform to the norm of celebrations?
Is that all there is to celebrate?
Do we just jump to the ceiling we’ve been given and dare not go out into the open fields to see if we can reach higher into the sky?
Is this why we may have only celebrated such because all have allowed themselves to believe that anything more would seem only trying to be better than the rest?
And, so. Why not?
If no one else shall. Dare not you be the one.
Celebrate what?
Today. Tomorrow. Now.
With whom? With what? How?
With a win. With a victory. Celebrate in anyway being that champion.
To those who think this to be wrong?
They have their birthdays and holidays.
