In my primary years, I knew nothing more than what was around me. I didn’t ask for much because when you don’t have much in the first place, the only thing afforded and thus, feared of losing was warranted love. However, as I began to listen and observe the interactions of those around me, my heart, my mind, my body, and my spirit began to question all that didn’t make sense.
From the earliest of my memories I always felt everyone around me could be so much more and perhaps I didn’t comprehend my emotions then, but it had always bothered me. By the time I was in high school, I realized that my path had been halted by the mental capacity of those around me and their paths. They all seemed imprisoned; not physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When those around you have no direction, it is nonsensical to seek help to find your own path. Essentially, I knew quite early that though I was given the only type of love I knew, no one around me could help me furthermore.
Thinking back now, there was this inexplicable melancholy that would become too familiar to me. That feeling you get when hopelessness not only becomes clear, but redundant and typical on any given day. I recall learning a relaxation technique I learned in the sixth elementary school I found myself attending. I actually tried the same method at home, as I laid down on a wooden floor of a house we had been renting at that time. Weird how I can still vividly recall how I felt my shoulders drop to the floor as I took a deep breath and released any tension in my body. I had only been in sixth grade at that time and evidently, as I took awareness of how uptight my body had actually been, I had come to the discovery that I was already experiencing stress and anxiety. What I also was becoming well aware of was feeling ashamed, hurt, and even more silently, angry. Angry because, a child, I had no control of my situation. Although raised to believe in God, faith in God was bleak around me. Countlessly, I have cried tears of gratitude knowing now I was not forsaken.
There, amidst the reality of my surroundings stood the breakthrough-my mind, my heart, my body, and my own spirit all choosing to not become a prisoner. There was always this voice inside me that whispered direction, hope, love, and belief in me. It was when I listened to that inner voice that told me I just needed to trust even if it felt I would be alone in moving closer to my own destiny.
Everyone has power and purpose. How little or how big, is perception from within. This, I believe as this, I have lived. Understanding one’s power and purpose is essential and yet, how many have left this world having fully understood that they withheld power or that there was a purpose for their very existence, I should wonder if I cared to venture. I have come to understand, time allows no distractions. It is not the fault of those around me if I decide to join their mindset. Just the same, I should hold no guilt for making sure I break the curse of such mindset.
I hold the power to speak wisdom through experience. My purpose is to help heal the world, one shared experience at a time. I write my thoughts out for myself, but trusting that my words are for someone out there to act upon to understand their own power and pursue their own purpose.
What is your power? What is your purpose?
