victim noun
- a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
victor noun
noun: victor; plural noun: victors
a person who defeats an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition.
I would be a liar if I said I have never fallen to be a victim in my life. There are simply times in life where I found myself powerless to stop what was happening before me or to me. That which I had no control over must be given peace and forgiveness. Not because it is my only choice. I mean, I can dwell on every hurt and pain I’ve ever endured, share every memory with others, publicize it for all to read and pity over. However, as I have come to discover in the fighting spirit of a victor, pain is temporary, no matter how long of a span to endure- temporary means there will come an end. While victims may get attention and sympathy, victors have long gotten up and moved on to conquer what lies ahead.
There are those who choose to walk as victim almost all of their life. Judgmental of me, perhaps, but I wonder if the bad that has happened to them has so much more worth to them than any good that seemingly have been overlooked. The works to see the end was always the elixir to move on and be done away with the memory for me. Why dwell in the unwanted moments whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually? You quietly acknowledge it to yourself that “life” happened and you take a breath for the next round of what awaits in front of you. Once you’ve arrived at that moment where you know you’ve overcome whatever stumble or fall you were in, you know you did not fall victim of the circumstance. I discovered and thus, arrived at the word “victor” instead. Just in case you didn’t know that there was a choice, here’s acknowledging the difference:
- I can’t versus I can
A victim has found an excuse to say they can’t or aren’t able to do something because of their stumble or fall. Whether they’ve made up their mind through past experiences or just because, they just simply feel they aren’t able. A victor in the other hand is the one who may have been told they couldn’t, ran into some circumstances that may have led them to believe they never will, but within them there’s that voice that says, “Watch me show you that I can.”
- I won’t versus I will
The victim won’t even try for the most part because they desire to self-sabotage just to prove that they weren’t able to in the first place or put the blame on others that they couldn’t. The victor simply will because they are too afraid of not making it to the other side-the other side they must believe is truly better than the side they currently are in. The mindset of a victor is, “I must and therefore, I will.”
- It’s over versus It’s just begun
The victim has the mindset that it’s over and everyday is what is given you. Life is what it is and whether you have been chosen to suffer or thrive is a predestination. The victor is not afraid to go to the next day knowing that they have conquered before and so, is prepared to do it again, one stumble or fall at a time. The mindset of the victim is, in the words of Dr. Maya Angelou, “Still I’ll rise.”
- The past versus the present
The victim looks back and somehow can’t move forward, being held by the power of yesterday. The victor looks ahead, knowing very well what was in the past. Thus, works harder in the present to get to tomorrow. Like Denzel Washington’s “Fall Forward” inspirational speech at Dillard University would suggest to the mind of a victor, I may keep falling, but I’ll be darned if I will allow myself to fall back. If I should fall again, I’m falling forward.
The mind of a victim who CHOOSES to stay a victim is defeated-mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally. Those who choose to stay as a victim is still hurting, dwelling on the pain they might have felt the first time, years ago. The one choosing to stay a victim cries out for others to hear and perhaps through their actions or environmental standards clearly suggesting, “I’m still hurting”. The victor has long gotten up, risen from what could have been defeat, understandably undeserving hurt, and thus, could have accepted that they have lost. The conqueror, brushing off the dust, the dirt, covering up the wounds as they heal moves FORWARD and says to their heart, mind, body, and spirit, “I am a conqueror who may be still be hurting, but learning at the same time. I will not allow myself to lose. I WILL WIN.”
