Have you ever felt confused by one’s actions or have caught yourself speaking, but your actions oppose your words?
We must own our imperfections if we are ever to fully grow. How else can we truly come to terms that while perceptually, preservations are not equal amongst us all, we each have internally been provided the same opportunity to live righteously?
The world contains a boxful of trickery. The deception can be so smooth and conniving that sometimes it is not the act we find ourselves shameful to have fallen into, but the very betrayal we understand we have found ourselves in due to ill will.
When we think about those who suggest to have been there for you under good intentions, but when in return, you only see now that there was more destruction of the heart, mind, body, and spirit if not, time and fortune, the disappointment of having fallen into such pit, even as you manage to get out, is beyond comparison to a trip or stumble.
Falling into a pit you had never even anticipated to find yourself in all of a sudden gives you some time to think things through. You may find yourself not quickly working to get out. The shock that you have found yourself in it first takes your breath away. Not in that good way where you are filled with joy and immense love. That breath-taking kind where you feel your soul has dropped to your feet and the heaviness is too much to bear.
You find yourself slumped, playing your life over, trying to determine the exact moment you started to actually fall into the trap. You are at wonder as to how this could have happened. After all, you had laughed and celebrated with the very souls who now wish for you to stay down.
You start to recollect moments at which times you ignored the signs. You had thought to have sowed goodness, but what you see in others has grown just the contrary. Even in your silence, they grow weary of your next move. It is as if satisfaction will be their meal the moment they see your plate is empty.
You thought to handle things quietly, amicably, peaceably. But these very approaches only triggered more desire to turn you into any darkness they could give you. And so, when they saw that your armor was up, impenetrable of anything they tried to attack you with, they went for those you loved most- that undeniable weakness you can only hope no one would dare have the cruelty to attack. But, like a trained serpent, attack they did.
The most vengeful attacks aren’t as openly evident by the subtle, you see now. The best type of infiltration are those having already found their way in not just through the gates, but into your trust and the comfort of your home.
They have dined with you as you have fed them. They have sung with you as you have played the songs. They have danced with you as you provided the melodies. They even chanted with you during moments of celebrations as victories were achieved.
You think to yourself how fortunate you are to share momentous achievements in life with those to inspire and uplift. You think, now all those around will desire the same for themselves, in your hopes, believing they have all within them to aspire to the same and thus, achieve similarly or more.
There is just one piece outside of your very control. Like children, you can believe they can achieve anything, but souls have grown to have lost belief in themselves so long ago. They see you now as a symbol of what they will never arrive to or become.
Your light only aids to their growing darkness.
You feel the quietness become different from peace. It’s that kind of stillness where you feel eyes are upon you, gazing upon your every move. The uneasiness is eerie.
The laughters and cheers are no longer the same. All of a sudden, you feel a sense of guilt to rejoice and be joyful. You begin to feel to hide away any further celebrations. You begin to take down any form of light coming your way, seeing others are resentful of the brightness, seemingly sick of the illumination that you once thought to share with them all.
You had a plan. To keep shining so that the world would be filled with beaming warmth and energy.
You had a plan. That energy to be created would expand to offspring so that the world would never be cold even after you have left this world.
You had a plan. That no matter how little of an account you may achieve, someone would dare make it bigger.
You had a plan. To dare not be afraid so that in the fears that creep into others, you would stand to be their reminder that there would only be victory through the push.
Your plan did not include you as their opposition, convincing even those whom you entrusted with those most dearest to you, the same.
You sit in that pit not because you can’t just stand back up and get out. You sit in that pit in complete admittance to having been pushed down by those you had thought to encourage and inspire. You wallow in the shock for sometime, needing to embrace the hurt and pain inflicted upon you to think things through; to give yourself time to absorb and then, absolve yourself from all that has occurred.
You must find your way back to who you still are aside from the daggers and swords pierced through you. Your armor has left you hardly unscathed, if not, stronger now than ever, from the forces that managed to find their way through vulnerable sides.
At first, there is disbelief and denial. You think, no way could anyone hope to find me here. Then, anger you fight works into you as the truth cannot be prevented into your heart. You vow to yourself you will not be poisoned by such spirit. You allow yourself to let the anger poison itself so as to kill and destroy its very own intents.
You will not be a victim to darkness. You are still and will remain in the light.
Let the enemy steal, kill, and destroy the foundation they personally built. Those towers were never meant to go up. They were not meant to be within you. You are bigger, higher, and thus, mightier than any structure trying to find a home in you.
You stand up. To no care how long you had been sitting in that pit because whatever time you had put in was time you needed to regroup, rethink, restrengthen.
Although the goodness was tested, there is goodness that remains in you. You did not plan for such kind of attacks, but victory is and was always on your side.
What they hoped to make of you is not who you were meant to be.
The deceptive became the deceived. It was their energy used to take down your old walls. This new journey you have requires the new walls you now have up. Your walls are stronger, greater in fortification, mightier in stance. Bigger, better, stronger than you had ever been only because in your vulnerability, they thought and saw you to be weak.
They were wrong. Your greater return proves this true.
They look at you with hopes to have hurt you. Quietly you laugh as thanks is all you can give them. What was made to try and take you down was actually meant to rebuild you. Even they didn’t know they were simply chosen as the workers to do the work at rebuilding you.
You are still a masterpiece. You have not lost you. You have just been restructured to be best fortified for the rest of your path.
You are the light that need to keep shining for those who need your presence, a gift to the awaiting who are in need of your direction.
You have been armored in truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, and in spirit.
You are not broken or destroyed. You are ready for the victories still ahead.
Your light may have dimmed at some instances during the attacks. It only takes a little light, however, and still, there can be no complete darkness. There can never be utter darkness in those who choose to stay in the light. You forgive the ignorance. You must thank them, instead.
You dine in God’s glory. You sing in praise. You dance in joyous harmonies. You celebrate continuous victories.
In unison, you hear your heart, your mind, your body, and your spirit rejoice…
“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine…”
“Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine…”
