Ever stop quietly in your head to take a thoughtful moment thinking, ‘I’m really focused and alert right now. I like this.’?
Anything I do, anytime focus is needed, my disgruntling moments are whenever I catch myself flailing from being locked in (new era phrase suggesting full focus) to what it is I am supposed to fully deliver into action.
When my husband or children are talking to me, I can’t stand how timing is off sometimes where my own must-dos and must-thinks get in the way of hearing what they want to tell me.
Upon teaching a lesson, upon going over steps, I desire delivery out of me, fluency, without losing my train of thought. I dislike my stumbles, as if I am caught in a cloud of disclarity.
In my workouts, my repetitions can be controlled but during Zumba, where I get to dance my heart out, I become internally frustrated whenever I catch my mind not fully participating with my body. Those moments where I am mirroring the moves instead of following in the exact direction. What is that?!
It is truly no wonder why there are those of us completely invested in creating a super human intelligence.
I get the why. Creating solutions for all of our self-acknowledged gaps and holes.
I know there are those tirelessly but passionately working on the how. Each step forward, I can only presume, exponentially arrives us to that refined… us.
We will insatiably add on functionalities to these manifesting creations of ours to the arrival of autonomous agents where we willl have encoded self-sufficiency.
I just wish, honestly, we didn’t have to.
I love me. That’s my truth. I just wish me, myself, and I would cooperate together to devotedly help love each other back.
I want all of what is working within me to get along so that when I hear myself say “Go!”, my heart, my mind, my body, and my spirit are synchronized to get going at any given time.
I feel as if there is this motherboard inside of me that just gets frustrated at times because ALL of me isn’t willing to work together to excel at highest capacity.
My heart and mind want to paint. My body and spirit don’t move and go.
My body and spirit need to hit the gym. My heart and mind tell me to rest instead.
My heart and spirit want to stay up or wake up earlier to get going on my endless thoughts. My mind now tells me it lacks sleep from all my thinking and, so, the body just catatonically takes part.
To no disrespect of Rodney King’s infamous words, I hear my motherboard (loudly) asking within me, “Can we all just get along?!!”
The greatest fight to reach our highest potential is within. We merely look for other reasons outside of us so we can manage to live with ourselves.
For those of us who have come to the silent confession of acknowledging the former? Hence, the zeitgeist fixings.
Can we blame the solution-oriented when social media and the ubiquitous gatherings of complaints about us and our still imperfect infrastructures from within all the way to, well, for now, Mars, cause only aggravated drive for answers?
Upon getting the answers, we arrive at truth. In eventual hindsight, the moment of deep silence may just be in the question, Can we handle the truth?
Our hearts, our minds, our bodies, and, our spirits idle at all times. We idle because, until the motherboard consistently receives agreeable input and output, we stupendously must.
At one of our son’s last cross country meet, I saw a sign which read something of the matter, “Don’t leave your engine running. Idling wastes lots of fuel energy.”
I thought, ‘How true!’
While I know the sign was meant for automotives, I took that message in as if it was actually talking to our very being.
Even standing up with my husband on the side, waiting for our son’s turn to run with his age group, finally had me ultimately decide I was going to lay out my blanket on the ground to sit as my (5 child-rearing, Zumba-loving) hips were not having it just standing amidst all other parents.
My spirit and heart were like, “Remain standing!” My mind and body, as both fixated on a spot on the ground, remarked, “You both can. We’ll be down here.”
I surely flopped open that blanket in the middle of that grass field, right beside all standing parents without a care of opinion (again, moving around so much all my life has helped me to just do me).
Whether the looks were saying, “ I can’t believe she’s doing that!” or “Why didn’t I think of that!” (I’m going for the latter to give people the benefit of good doubt), it didn’t matter to my tired hips just wanting to rest and my mind surely conceding.
As I sat with my husband who joined me on my AWESOME idea, I thought of that sign I saw not even half an hour earlier.
Even while sitting down, I was still idling. There is no complete shut down (until, you know). Stored energy was still being spent.
My ears were listening to stay tuned in with the conversation I was carrying on with my husband while my mind was keeping aware of when our son’s turn to run would be up soon; my spirit was high off the energy around, happily observing our youngest son walking around us, talking amongst his brother’s teammates; my heart, feeling familiar beats of euphoria, loving and taking in these moments shared with our children before they move on.
Me, myself, and I? Familiarly feeling exhaustion starting to creep inside. I was sitting down but still, I could feel that desire to eventually be at rest.
I further thought to myself, ‘Only when you will be sleeping.’ Another voice enters my thoughts to probe uncertainty, ‘Will you be, though?’
The good in me laughs and shuts down all other voices, ‘Probably not, but that’s how we do.’
In fact, energy is spent even when we are lying down. The least of energy use, perhaps, is when we are in deep sleep. Still, since we breathe while sleeping, no absolute energy is fully preserved.
We ooze out energy one cellular make-up at a time. Aging. Away goes indefinitely numbered gos.
We are each but a car with an engine. (With an Anne Salve next to an Aston Martin one day.) Except, we idle so long as we live when not in motion.
How much mass and acceleration you produce leads to the amount of force exerted. In motion, I see working.
When lying down, it’s no wonder why our body needs an average eight hours of sleep. While senses are down, we are still activated, like battery just charging without being completely shut down.
When the Jedi Knight is suggested to use the force, I see this as us understanding that we are essentially working against ourselves, pushing through inner-constraints.
Newton’s laws have been generally accepted because all science is theoretical, predisposed to opposition of the next best explanation.
I used to sit in chemistry class wondering how iron ever got the abbreviation, Fe. I laugh to myself now and think, The G.O.D. is always ahead of us.
Fe = Fe
Iron sharpens iron.
That is, force of energy sharpens force of energy.
2 = 2
4 = 4
If and when imbalanced, the greater force wins.
The idling body. Always on. Just waiting to react. Forces of energy within. Forces of energy without.
How do we best channel our forces of energy within each moment in time we are given?
Here we are, in this new forefront of coded intelligence to eventually learn to code itself toward perfection.
Why? Because clearly we see ourselves needing help.
If believed to be created perfect, why are we suggesting not?
I must wonder, is it when we are asleep where we miss all the best codings of our cognitive thinking?
Is this why we must create something else to do what our mind is able to do but our bodies just cannot keep up with or in vice versa?
Did not Thomas Edison hold a ball in each hand while sleeping, allowing his arm to hang to the side so that if the ball were to fall he would awake to capture his greatest thoughts?
I have to think, if our bodies never tired, fully awake with our thoughts, would we then channel into those parts we seemingly cannot reach when awake?
Isn’t that why we refer to sleep with levels? Deep sleep. Abysmal or just not consciously reached?
I mean, after all, as I tell my children and students, if there is no such thing as perfect, we can all work toward excellence.
Excellence, we have achieved countless times, eras of eras to be written, read, and spoken to eternally last (unless our creations destroy our very histories of excellence.)
We are creating something that could channel parts of us we can’t seem to neurologically discover or find within ourselves. Or, just dig out?
Transferring us to one that can access… us?
But, I love me, though. At least that is what my mind, heart, and spirit are telling me.
No body really knows. There goes the heart, mind, and spirit with secrets, again and again.
There’s a song idling in my head now.
Ahhh, yes. Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen by Louis Armstrong.
