“I have a Master’s degree in silent treatment.”
I could only laugh and respond back that I am still working on mastering this skill myself upon hearing this incredibly powerful statement from a dear woman who responded to my comment that my husband gets chocolate chip cookies or the silent treatment.
My husband and I were blessed with a gracious elder woman behind us at the grocery store who opened up a brief but pleasant conversation upon taking note that chocolate chips were on the conveyor belt as part of our purchase.
“I see she is making you chocolate chip cookies,” she remarks to my husband with a commanding tone as if accepting nothing else other than a response.
“Yes, she is,” my husband kindly responds back, quickly picking up on the cue like a student who was just called out to answer in a classroom without forewarn.
I love rare moments like these where I not only get a hint of what kind of woman I should one day become but while also receiving positive strength from such impactful happenstance- like an unexpected encounter given as a pinnacle bonus to your day.
Angels in our lives have a way of entering into any moment.
The wonderful lady went on to tell my husband, with a cunning side-smirk, he was spoiled and a very lucky man (I sensed she was expertly flirting with him and I loved every moment of it!), changing not a level in her calm but authoritative voice.
And, as my husband kindly smiled in agreement, I could only quietly agree to myself upon hearing his response.
“Yes. You are very right about that. I am spoiled and very lucky to have her as my wife.”
What is there to disagree about there?When an angel speaks truth, you let them. And when your husband concurs and you couldn’t agree more, you just let the moment flow. lol
I was filled with warmth just to see my dear husband kindly responding back and forth until the brief but priceless conversation came to an end and we parted our ways.
I knew to be good from the start. Who I would give my heart to would be fortunate.
I am grateful for the choice I made over three decades ago.
Papa’s silence was what I had to always read as approval. I had chosen well.
Many years later, Papa took and gave good note of my choice before he left this world. That’s all I needed.
Even though in the Philippines at that time, Papa and Mama gave their marriage approval over the phone through my husband-to-be’s request and in my heart, while no bond is guaranteed to be unbroken, I felt and knew my one important factor in the marriage to be true:
The man I would marry loves me more.
I would be priceless to the one granted my heart. Why would I not be cherished?
Yes? Yes.
No different than all years in history, there is not enough good men to earn the love and goodness of a virtuous woman- that honorable woman who will commit to the end.
Does that entail also in history, all women having found good men were worthy of such? Hardly. We don’t have to seek deep and hard to prove this.
In my time, I have watched good men being trampled and left behind for another in vice versa of what I feel the media wants to point out as most common.
Most times, all it took would be for someone else to cast doubt of what good one had and darkness went to work.
Thank goodness of such awareness.
When I told my husband, then, just a voice on the other line during our earliest talks over the phone, that when I do marry, I would be the best wife in the world, I meant it.
All I would need would be for him to love me more and he would not need worry of what he gave his heart to. This, I kept to myself as an on-watch to unconditionally observe.
Like a crack fanatic in a Hollywood movie would say when asking for a fix, “You know I’m good for it.”
Okay. So a polar example given that most fanatics are here today when in the rise, gone tomorrow when on a losing streak, but the extremity of the saying in the other end, where pure truth and honesty lies, would be where I would stand.
I meant what I said.
I knew myself to be loyal, devoted, and caring once I gave my heart to someone.
When I tell my children, I love you no matter what, there can be no falsifying such undying heart there.
You can’t unlove pure love even through difficulties and disappointments.
There is no competition on how much you can love or how many love back.
You simply and fearlessly love.
I knew myself to compete only against my own envisioned self each day.
I have always strived to be better than that person before me, out-winning the one behind.
So, when I say that the man must love a woman more, it is only because I fairly think, he’d be foolish not to.
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
In breaking down furthermore, here is the AI Overview:
- Value Beyond Material Wealth:
The comparison to rubies, a precious jewel, signifies that a virtuous woman’s worth surpasses that of any earthly treasure. - Noble Character and Capability:
The description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 portrays her as a capable, hardworking, and wise individual who manages her household effectively and contributes positively to her community. - Husband’s Trust:
Her husband has complete confidence in her and lacks nothing of value because of her character and actions. - Positive Influence:
She consistently brings good to her husband and family, all the days of her life, and her influence is a source of blessing and praise.
In essence, the passage elevates the immense spiritual, emotional, and practical value of a woman of integrity and virtue, making her a treasure to be honored.
I have written that it is not a Ride or Die thing for partnership. Rather, one takes over the wheel when the other isn’t able.
There is no guilt in a relationship other than what one puts on themself.
Even when just dating, I would hurry home to answer the phone. (Yes. When only land lines existed.)
Continually, as a stay-at-home wife and mother, I would be there to answer the phone during my husband’s lunch time when he would call me from his office.
And, now, over thirty years later into this holy (c-wow!) matrimony, I still make sure to be home after work.
Why?
Because I owe this good man to not disappoint.
I have seen the relationship games played from childhood on up.
I have heard the ill-advices of those to only pity you upon your choice to walk away or leave from what just needed your ceaseless love and care, encouraging you and praising you for leaving only to seemingly share regular pity parties for you in your found predicament.
The great percentage of people who know not a good thing and so, when you find it amongst all, the rest place fear upon you to keep it.
Yes. There are those who want you to lose what they never had or think to be deserving of instead. My heart, my mind, my body, and my spirit have all sadly been witness to such works.
The young thinking to counsel to the young, only preaching what they witnessed and believed growing up as their norm of truth.
The old ways of not the wise but scorned lead you to not just be scarred but burned. (Yes. I combined scarred and burned as scorned.)
Give up. Says who?
If when, shouldn’t that be only you?
This is marriage.
How do I know that my marriage will be the 1 out of 2 to make it? I don’t, for nothing is guaranteed.
Am I determined to see our marriage not just make it to the end but, happily so? Every moment of trials and tribulations.
Do I see the same promise from my husband in my years of observance?
Absolutely.
Allow me to reflect some:
When my husband worked nights (taking care of twin adults with MSL) while also working to complete his Computer Science degree, I would take over the wheel from the passenger seat so he could close his eyes while I steered and his foot was on the gas pedal.
I would communicate for him to slow down if, at times, freeway traffic would become congested.
Why not just drive? I had yet a driver’s license and we only had one car.
Prior to our relationship, I knew a few more than a thing or two on how to take the bus, run, or walk to work, school, or even malls way across bridges to other cities.
I did that in our marriage if I had to but my husband was always there to drive me if he could help it up until he saved up $500 to get me my first car, a used gray Ford station wagon I proudly drove until he continued to save up to surprise me with my second car, a used but immense upgrade, blue Honda Civic.
Have I ever crawled to make it through?
Absolutely.
When my hips and back went out, all I could think of was to have to get up the next morning to make sure my children had breakfast.
I have chosen victory over being a victim for as long as I can remember.
I cannot be the worry.
I cannot be the problem.
I am the source of strength.
I am the source of solution.
When my husband looks at me, I want him to know that I’ve got him. Since the time I took over that steering wheel within our first year together to over thirty years and going, I still am prepared to take the wheel over when needed.
A few days short of nineteen with our first child, no doubt, by age, I was unquestionably young.
By age.
In my vantage point, I was ahead with no time to waste.
When do you get married?
When do you have children?
When do you go for that next degree or certification?
Yesterday.
If you arrive to tomorrow having contemplated but still not having gone forth with it, you have already hesitated today.
Will you be the one out of two to find success in marriage at the end?
Who knows?
No one knows.
The only guarantee is now.
Who you are today.
Who you want to be today.
Who you believe to have next to you because of who you are for you that will draw them to need you to the end
What of you is real? What of you is a lie? What of you is uncertain? What of you is sure you know?
How can you expect anyone else to know these answers for you if you don’t know you yourself?
You listen to advice from others.
Sure. They may be right. But, how is their life? Are they making it? Are they any better than where you are trying to go? Have they gone to where you are going? How did they do?
Are their advices to help you make it or break it?
Do they even know how to mend or are they so broken that their expertise goes only as far as being broken?
Have you followed the earliest rule when crossing? Stop. Look. And, Listen?
Whether social media, artificial alien (to eventually, autonomous ) intelligence, or actual real people, what does your heart, mind, body, and spirit tell you?
Looks as if you already know where you want to go if you follow those who have gone a certain path.
Who is to blame for where you are heading and thus, where you will end up is not any of those you followed.
Your feet. Your shoes. Your marks on your path to your chosen destiny.
While you hope he loves you more, the most important of all is this:
In this given world, in this place where you stand, you love YOU the most.
You can’t unlove pure love even through difficulties and disappointments.
There is no competition on how much you can love or how many love back.
You simply and fearlessly love.
You.
