There are those times in life when you just have to find comfort in laughing at yourself to ease any feelings of shame. I was at one of our local grocery stores this morning, making sure to get in early to beat the crowds of people causing what I had already witnessed within just a few days the empty shelves. If it had not been to the discovery that our youngest children had used our usual abundant supply of toilet paper as, I am convinced, confetti, I would not have been on a search for some early morning as the nation was learning, supplications were replenished overnight only to be out again midday.
As an offspring of parents both having been financially victimized civilians during the wrath of WWII, aside from my baking needs of more flower, eggs, and salt, I was pleased with my cart: drumsticks on sale at 99 cents a pound, two separate bags of fruit placed in the discounted bins, 2 gallons of milk, bread, bags of beans, ground beef and biscuits at 2/$1 (what would be a treat for the kiddos and hubby once I got home). My biggest splurge was a 25 lbs. bag of flour for under $8. Why? Because the 5 lbs. bag I would have chosen was roughly around $3 regular price. I know my math and there were only 2 bags left of the 25 lbs. on sale. It was 8 am and it was only Week One of this pandemic leading us to responsibly stay home, stepping out only when necessary. The catalyst to my early shopping, a 6-roll bathroom tissue I found for $2.99 (knowing that I would get the big bulk supply at Costco when the time and need would arrive), was justified. My panic buying, if you must think in that manner, was pleasing to my eyes as I scanned my cart of all that I would be walking out with once I found myself through the self-checkout line. I would spend only under $30 and was set for two weeks with the family, if need be, as shelves were quickly re-emptying on the daily.
As I stood in line, however, I could not help to take a glimpse of what was “essential” to other citizens. I moved my head from left to right nonchalantly as I tried my best to not glare at the paper towels, paper plates, coffee, wine, and frozen foods I was seeing in other people’s carts. I stood there, fighting myself to remain indifferent while thinking judgmental thoughts like, ‘Why disposables?’ However, as I waited for my turn to scan my items, my eyes began to trace back to my own cart. That 25 lbs. bag of flour lying down at the flatbed of my cart seemed to now look enormous to me. All of a sudden, a silent shame started to trickle through my bones- I was just as guilty. I had become just as privileged as others. And what was my reasoning for the gargantuan bag of flour purchase? It was on sale.
What have we become during this pandemic? Has pandemonium taken to play? Has our panic buying during this creeping sense of uncertainty revealed what we deem to be essential? If so, what would those who have suffered in hiding during years of war think of our essentials? Do we really know what is essential anymore?
Great in theory-quite possibly a disaster in reality, never mind eh?
Thank you for the comment, buy n95 masks. It would be my opinion to suggest that a disaster in reality is only within the perception of those who may be looking from the outside in. Having heard stories of war survivors (as is the pandemic we fight right now- an enemy we cannot by sight generally see), if all were to worsen, those fighting would only be thinking to survive. No opinion would need matter when fighting for one’s life.