You are its sower.
Spiritually or matter of science speaking, either way, we humanistically withhold deep curiosity to ultimately understand our individual purpose, what our matter of existence truly means and if it at all, what and how much truly matter.
The ciphering trickery of the omnipotent and omniscient either way is, we have been fed the hunger and drive to know. The word “purpose” is not heavily searched by accident.
The whole person, in viewpoint, as the composition of one’s makeup from birth to death, are, to thought, a compilation of pathways taken as our backs have turned away from many countless directions we could have taken. Sadly, the search to the end arrives for some, to its shortcomings, when the fuel or energy runs out. To truly discover oneself to its full fruition comes to an end the moment we stop trying.
Each moment of choice comprises of consequential evidence of who we are becoming. Contrarily, our choices also reflect upon who we have not become. We can only hope that we are indeed following the right path to our truest identity as our path to ever knowing is not a straight one. How could it be? It is the ultimate challenge given to each of us. It is that amazing race that take us from one event to another.
To know our own destination. To arrive. To really feel that fulfillment. For each of us to get to the self each of us were meant to be- that masterpiece in the making finally to its final touch. At the finale is when we get to hopefully utter in satisfaction, “I have lived.” How many dare to stop at nothing today to arrive to that final statement?
If we were to map out every step of our lives, our steps would lead us back at times to dead ends or at a T-intersection; those moments resulting to turning back around, veering left or right, just not forward. We may feel sad, discouraged, or disgruntled thinking time is lost when we have to turn back around or go another way.
Rather than perceiving such moments with bitterness and dismay, however, could we instead view a “wrong” path taken as one to prepare us for the path need taken? After all, how is fullness appreciated without understanding hunger? How is victory exhilaratingly victorious without having ever felt grievous defeat? How is wealth and comfort felt with inexplicable gratitude without knowing recessive moments when painful sacrifices were ultimatums for mere survival?
Strife. Struggle in life. Let that sink in so as to be ready for it. After all, doesn’t one train with the intent to prepare and be ready for what is to come that should test the heart, mind, body, and spirit?
When there is no foretelling of what is ahead, the course to finding one’s complete fulfillment, who we were truly meant to be, is a challenging one. Even the privileged ones whose predecessors have paved the path express a wanting to create their own footsteps, not to be carried by those who paved the way. This aching need to arrive to our own “self” is solely a journey defined by the you that feels its destiny.
The pursuit to finding one’s fully maturated self from infantile stage is a long journey, in known time and exerted energy. Why some never make it to full development, halting or surrendering to an arrested one, can only be for the individual to accept. The difference from those who will feel they have made the finish line is rather obvious- some just stop before ever finishing. Death arrives and yet some will have already died years before their last breath.
At a young age, thankfully, the alacrity, the zeal, is still quite untampered. As the desire grows to take part in this world and have significance comes into play, there is this idling energy ready to bloom and bare much fruit for the world to accommodate.
Inexperienced at the start, with just “Go!” in mind, the body drives forward, having yet to know or understand conflict or opposition. Like a race that has begun at the sound of the starting pistol, one takes off, ready to exclaim the greatness from within for all to get a taste of. The blossoming begins. Much fruit in due time to bear await.
It is in those first laps where one gives it all they’ve got, ill-prepared for the 1001 more laps to go. The innocence of the mind, body, heart, and spirit to go forth in destiny of purpose, energy to the fullest. Then, the disappointments, discouragements, the devastations. All of a sudden, lap 524 feels and looks like the same lap since 398. The body starts to tire. The mind starts to question. The heart starts to ache. The sprit starts to run out of energy. Exasperatingly, you walk lap 525, trying to catch your breath while at the same time internally fighting the three inevitable choices: keep running, walk the rest, or just get off the field now. You still have about 476 to go.
Within each lap, you think of all those fruit you were to bear in abundance. And while there were fruit to be picked at times, they were nearly not enough in comparison to what you had dreamed of. Each lap start to look like the same, over and over again. So, you stop, right there on track to the finish line, you stop.
There goes the difference between the pursuit of one’s greatest potential to the ones arrested to their own surrender. Like a flower that once bloomed or a plant that once blossomed, you become the fig tree that no longer bears fruit. And yet, you were the sower every time, every moment. So, was the fig tree imprecated to not bear fruit, or, because it stopped bearing, it was imprecated? Give and take the wind and weather, the lap never changed. You did.
When the weather is peaceful, right for planting, the sowing of the seed is undisturbed. Thus, we whistle, we hum, we feel alive and well. There is much harvest of the soul and spirit. We are like that fruit from afar that many would climb to reach. We sparkle. We amaze. We encourage others to reach our height.
Then, there are those years where what seemed easy years before are tampered with the unwanted or unanticipated.
You continue to plow the fields around you, doing your best to create the same if not better soil for your seed to grow, blossom, and bear fruit again. Dark clouds stand by from afar. Ominously, they wait, as if just staring at you from a distance, knowing you, having seen you bear fruit before. But, it has its own plans. To test you. To change course for you. To see just how much you are able to withstand; if and when you will break. Could you bear fruit once again? Would you persevere to bear more than ever before? All you can do is prepare as you sow, seeing clouds from afar, standing your ground to be unafraid.
Understand. The role of the sower is to sow. The role of a storm is to storm in. And storm in it does. You protect your field, moving about to save what you’ve planted. There is no time to think about breathing as you move about. You can exhale after the weather subsides. That ominous storm seen from afar? You say, Bring it on! A fighter you are. You may get defeated. You may be taken to your knees to newly discovered exhaustion. But, you have already decided that you will rise. You will get to keep going to complete another lap of life. When the last lap is conquered, you will look back through all the storms remembering all the harvest from the battles and the works and you will satisfyingly utter, “I have lived.”
The fruit of your labor? There the seeds are stored for generations to follow. It is up to the next generation to sow once more. How many seeds you leave behind will determine how quickly the next sower will propagate exponentially in number.
If but one seed, you are the sower. Sow.
