It would be the world to me to just have a moment with my Papa again. Watch Three’s Company and hear him laugh or giggle to another silly scene with Scooby-Doo. To see my belated brother one more time, thank him for teaching me to cook rice or how to use the sewing machine would be yet another joyous grant. To get a glimpse of what my younger sister would have looked like today if she wasn’t so rushed to be an angel in the skies- no doubt she would wow me with her beauty. There can be no words to truly express that void of losing those you love too soon. Losing them without their own choice, that is. Then, there are what I will refer to as zombies.
I recall watching Pet Cemetery as a child, heartbroken with the parents as they faced having to bury their far too young to leave son. I understood unexpected loss of a loved one by then. It was the choice they made that I only could relate to recently in my years. The father makes the most selfish, but understandable decision to bring back his son even after knowing the consequence- that same child would return back with no soul. Still, unable to bare the loss, he chooses to give his son life again, the desire to turn back time as we all should be able to empathize.
Choosing to bring back their child to life relates with me an article I read in where villages have a way to bring a body back to life. The catch is for both the movie and these villages is that while the body may breathe and thus, live again, the living body would walk the earth without a soul. Zombies.
Loving someone and loving them hard should have a limit in one’s heart. At least, for mine, my heart would beg to have such mercy. To love and to love hard have different levels.
Loving hard is this secret channel in the heart where there is no shield, just pure vulnerability- knowing and yet, taking every risk of being torn and severely hurt if one’s love were to be betrayed- an inevitable bleeding implosion. Pieces of your heart is bound to be lost forever, possibly never to be found again or retrieved with the recovery or healing leading to a slow, painful process if one was to even completely heal at all. Hence, losing someone unexpectedly whom you’ve loved hard is understandably devastating. And yet, to lose someone you loved hard who willingly let you go is yet an indescribable hurt on its own.
The difference between losing one to death versus losing someone through a mindful choice, setting aside any sorcery, leads to only one difference- the latter still lives and roams the earth while the former has been put to rest.
So, when all of a sudden, someone who has walked out on you decides to come back or makes an attempt to make some reconciliation, two sides of you are faced in the next step- let them back in or “bury” them for good.
Whatever decision one makes is to one’s own acceptance of whatever follows. However, like zombies, the person who left is no longer the same person who has come back. While there is hope that the person is better and thus, the relationship to forego will be stronger, trust within the heart, once pieces have been replaced or returned and walls within have been rebuilt, is different, too. That inkling of a wonder as to whether or not having them back will be more damaging than before has to be addressed with pure scrutiny.
Zombies. When one looks into the eyes of another and can no longer recognize them for who they are, is this truly worth holding onto? Or, if we were to go there, and think zombie apocalypse, are you putting yourself and those around you in danger of being torn into pieces and eaten alive?
