Where are you?
I heard that at one point the most searched question had something to do with seeking purpose. Confession. I heard this only after I myself had done so and was quietly relieved to know I had obviously not been the only one. I still recall having literally Googled, “What is my purpose?” as if with deepest hopes that God was going to respond with an answer.
It is difficult to express that arrival of feeling, “What next?” or “What more is there of me that is truly needed?” The only way to further describe those bottling inner-turmoils fighting inside of me was that the daunting questions, primarily from the much needed desire for me to know what truly my purpose was in this world came from arriving at being a mother of five, a teacher for over a decade, and a wife of, at that time, over two decades.
While I have dabbled in so many integral pieces of artistic, philosophical, and problem solving aspects of what the world has had to offer me, each merely and temporarily satiated me. Every time I arrived at, per se, a pinnacle, it was like standing atop it all, taking it in, making a mental check of yet one more thing done, before this familiar feeling would start to creep inside my very soul and spirit to whisper, “This wasn’t it.” That “it”? That’s the conundrum.
It’s like that one mythical jewel or treasure that has only been proven time and time again to not exist and I’m that ridiculously insane one suggesting, “It’s there! I know it is!” So, still I search for that priceless gem, purpose.
I’m not sure at what point in life others arrive to this very same seemingly unanswerable conquest. I can only tell you that in search for that day of discovery, shall I arrive to it, hopefully still mindfully cognizant of its representation when I arrive to it (injecting a smirk there), I, in the meanwhile, have created a mnemonic acronym to help ease the journey:
P Perfect all there is about you. You are born a masterpiece. Your potential, that is. Not the embryo you once were before entering this world. The sculpture of you is still to be completed. To perfect means to aim for perfection. Introduce Tabula Rasa to its boss… you.
U Understand you can’t always have everything feel right, but you get to try by remaining to do right. Don’t engage in anything that would just cause you to derail and lose your way. Doing right and being right will keep you on the right.
R Respect yourself in the process of your journey. Doing right and being right should not suggest to go along with what others suggest of you. In able to live with you today and tomorrow, you have to align yourself to the reflection you want to see in the mirror. You and the respect of you is all that you should see.
P Plan on doing something about your life. Look back only if so doing will move you forward, not fall back. Where there is no vision, there is no destiny. See yourself arriving to another place. The idea is to see yourself going somewhere, doing something.
O Only accept positivity into your heart, mind, and spirit. (I’d say body, but I’d be a liar if I said chips and ice cream don’t make things better at times for me.) Just be on guard at your own gate to make certain that you are the one to decide what you let in and out. That way, accountability stands alone with you.
S Silence your own thoughts of doubt and defeat. They are distractions under mainly the name of FEAR- false evidence appearing real. What is to happen just hasn’t happened yet. Work toward the “is” you desire without all that noise.
E Embrace the pursuit of getting there, wherever that may be. You will stumble, fall, and sometimes even get a few nicks and bruises, but cut up, bleeding, limping or not, you get back up and keep moving. You just keep moving. You keep moving because you aren’t meant to stay stunted or immobile. You were made to grow and prosper.
Pursue whatever you think it is that you are supposed to accomplish each day. The greatest part of victory, starts before physically even getting up. I , for one, pray, read, and ask myself what needs to be attacked that day before I even get up. This way, even if I lag about doing whatever it is I already decided I was going to do, the fact that I created a direction took me to that path one step after another from my bedside the moment I got up to when I retreat back.
I don’t know about you, but I can be my own worst enemy most of the time. What could be done in a day could end up being prolonged for days, weeks, if not months and years just because of my own thoughts and voices that distracted me from going right for the finish line.
No matter what I end up with by the end of the day, I have arrived at embracing how much closer I got to whatever it was I pushed myself to do.
Here I was one day reminding myself to celebrate a student who had tested five grades lower than their actual grade who jumped two to three grades up by the time they were ready to finish a school year with me, and I was silently crucifying myself every time I didn’t finish yet another goal within a deadline I had given my own self.
What is my purpose? I’m happy that the answer to this question is becoming more clear now as the years have given me more time to search for the response. My purpose one moment may be to tell my child yes, they can. Another may be to remind a child that they are not stupid as they suggest, but that they haven’t found their unique, intellectual talent yet. My husband may need me to say the one thing he needed to hear to make a final decision about a business move. My life alone could be inspiring others to try and get the same as well. Me dancing my heart out at Zumba or pushing myself hard on an elliptical could challenge someone to do the same. Focusing on getting one patent approved after another could lead to answers for the world seeking the very need. Writing could lead to just one person needing the very words they needed to receive to get them going. Just like this one.
What’s your purpose? You have a lot. Each one needed by someone else. So, go. One perhaps minuscule thing to you, but priceless to someone else. You and only you are that purpose. In the meanwhile, I am standing atop, again, taking it in, making that mental check of yet another message done. P.U.R.P.O.S.E.
