I couldn’t wait to turn eighteen. Somehow I thought by arriving to the legal age, I would finally have people respect me as an adult and not like a kid. The wisdom within me would finally have merit to those around me who would say, “You’re still young.” I took silent offense to such remarks because to me that meant whatever wisdom I thought I had held no value to others around me.
Little did I know that turning eighteen, while abiding you to lawful clause, was truly just a number. This is because I came to quickly realize that there were so much to proving oneself as an adult other than legally becoming one. The following are those I have come to understand at such great depth in my journey to being an adult.
- There are things in life you can skip.
Whoever said you have to party and live life to the fullest that included drugs and alcohol must have been dealers and pushers. Who else would create such a farce claim? Yes. Definitely party and live life to the fullest-just make sure you are fully conscious, in control, and awake so that you have no regrets the following day. I’ve seen the exteriorly beautiful ones in their prime years now walk around looking aged and worn out. I would think a scientific understatement, when you mix drugs and alcohol to the party life, the ramifications of such of life somehow finds its emerging presence in one’s wrinkly, leathery skin, baggy circles under the eyes, and rotting or missing teeth. Don’t skip the party. Just skip the stuff that will make you miss life.
- Adult life gives you adult problems.
What happened to the days where I could just sleep in for like… ever? Although those were boring and dull days where nothing happened so you just stayed in bed accepting nothingness, I want to be the first to say that nothing and boring can be so greatly missed when each day is grit, grind, and duty to do what needs to get done. Why? Because I’m an adult now and there are those looking up to me. I’ve got to be the example of what to be, not of what not to be because eyes are looking at me and ears are open, listening to me. So, I can’t just mutter, “No. I don’t feel like getting up right now. Later.” Those days as a kid when I left it to the adult to feed me, dress me, shelter me? I’m that adult now.
- Being responsible is not a choice.
Being responsible is a must. The ways, thought-processes, and reasoning of a child need to be long gone if you want to be respected as well as hold self-respect if not, dignity. Take note that while the world knows the names of the richest, there are no talks or records for those deemed as the poorest. Even the poor don’t want to be recognized as the poor. It is not a situation desired. Choosing to live a humble lifestyle does not plant one as poor. Rich, poor, humble, or contrarily, greedy, it takes responsibility to uphold your end for those counting on you. No child I know as a mother and educator says, “When I grow up, I’m going to be the poorest person in the world.” Being poor is not a goal- it is a circumstance. The adult must hold the responsibility to thrive if not, just to stay alive.
- Adulthood gives you the gift of time that’s ticking.
Just as soon as we become an adult we either are overcome with fear because of our ending dependency on those who have cared for us or the excitement that we can now do things without anyone hounding us on who to be and what to become. However, what we fail to understand is that the moment we were gifted with time to be an adult for the great part of our life, our legacy to work toward is losing time each day to get there. Hence, you have to embrace time while working with it to your advantage, one second lost at a time. Consider it precious, knowing that like a chess game, while you may gain a few seconds for quick moves, one move could lead you to a loss to end the game. Cherish the time you are given. Forgive yourself for having used some moments unwisely, but let it be a learning lesson to do life better each day. Tick tock.
- Be an asset not a debt to the next generation.
While I still believe that the young should respect their elders to the end of time, generation to generation, I will advocate for the basic understanding that no one should have to carry your problems. Hence, who you are growing up to be as an adult should have growth in the right direction. Like a tree, you should bear fruit, not eventually rot, giving only work for those who have to clean up after whatever remains of you with even greater hope that you weren’t detrimental to those around you.
My children may not realize, but I have long prepared to let them go from the time they were young. I know, that though the memories are precious in my heart, I will have to let them take part in adulthood while I prepare to leave this world in peace. Peace meaning that my death will be an investment, not a wound or burden to anyone. This means that my adulting has to work toward growth and prosperity, not failure and disappointment for generations to fix.
Being the adult in the home grants you the leadership- the captain or when in a partnership, the co-captain, first, or second in command. However, where are you leading your boat to? That child may be enjoying the waves, but the adult better be knowledgeable of currents and what they mean. Play like a child. Stand guard as an adult. That’s how I know I’ve reached adulthood- I’ve long lost sleep in standing guard.
Cheers to being grown up!
