YouTube Video: https://youtu.be/TjoEjSlmZY8
Whether you want to or not, a dark, an empty, or an unfulfilled will pass through your life and you face the decision of what to do with them. The following are options I have learned to consider as my personal responsibility to decide how to deal with those who may bring more trouble than help and yet, persist to exist in your life.
- Let them in. The truth of the matter is, your life is your business. If you truly believe that dark or light, empty or full, fulfilled or not, you must accept people in your life because you either need them or that you feel they need you, or that notion ‘family must stick together’ and thus, you feel obligated to have certain people in your circle, then by all means, stand your ground. You go to sleep with your decisions and if you can handle the circumstance you put yourself in along with the ramifications of your decisions, no one should tell you to do otherwise. After all, as long as you don’t have anything to complain about to anyone else and you feel there is peace and strength within you being around such energy, then, this is your choice. This is your comfort zone. This is you. No one should judge you for who you choose to be and those who you choose to be with. Contrarily, just keep in mind, you should hold no judgement for anyone else who would rather not be in such circle and thus, keep their distance from you.
- Address the issues of a dark, empty, or unfulfilled, not them. If there are those imposing their darkness, emptiness, or unfulfilled matters on you, don’t use up your energy to attack the person, identify and address what they are trying to get you to carry. I once had a colleague who vented to me that they felt uncomfortable every time another colleague of ours came along because all this other colleague would do is complain and have negative things to say. I happily surprised myself to quickly respond, hearing such thought-provoking words roll out of my tongue, in more or less words, “Maybe they are carrying too much and they are just trying to unload some things they subconsciously hope you are able to help them carry.” I was so pleased with myself to have spoken such a thoughtful response as my colleague admitted that such point taken hadn’t come to mind until I mentioned it. Honestly, I pondered upon the very words I spoke and thought about the message I articulated as if I had been an expert in handling such situations myself in life (still learning, still growing!). The idea that one could be exhibiting a plea for help through their actions help to level my own haste to judge other’s intentions. The older I get, the more “life” has made me grow up to be less judgmental. The more years of experience in dealing with others I have acquired, the better understanding I have of people around me- everyone is coming from a place of “life” happening to them, too. I do my best, my very best, to believe and trust that whatever was said to me from the dark, the empty, or the unfulfilled, was meant for help, not with any attempts to destroy. And yet, when the dark, the empty, or the unfulfilled only know how to be destructive and thus, in their own delusion, think to be heroic in their attempt process of destruction, this is when the next two options must exist.
- Pray for them. For those of you who aren’t into praying, then use this term loosely to suggest that you must give them peace and keep your distance. Whether one is dark, empty, or unfulfilled, the person is being controlled by their spirit within, seeing not what they are doing or trying to do is wrong or headed for the wrong. My favorite verse for self-awareness is the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:12) ‘12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.’ I take this to mean that to break you down so you become broken and distraught, lost of all hope, there are those around you who have been placed to do just that- to take you down. However, they persist because they have been held under the deception that what they are doing is helpful or right. Why else would they be continuing to do what they do? If, at the point where they are seemingly out of control, like a tornado, you must keep distance and take shelter. Otherwise, you’re in the “eye” of destruction. So be weary of anyone dark, empty, or unfulfilled who are persistent in existing in your realm. It is your life, thus your responsibility to perceive potential harm as not or so. You hold the power to not inhale their vapors, drink their poison, or enter their whirlwind. And if they persist to still exist in your life, go to the final option.
- Ignore them. This would be with the understanding that you haven’t let them in or have already made the decision to keep them out of your circle and have changed the locks to your door. Having done so, you’ve made the verdict to not or no longer open the door to the dark, the empty, the unfulfilled. You don’t open the door to strangers. You definitely don’t open the door to the monster or worse, knock on their door and ask to enter their domain. Far worse, when you clearly see the person on the other side of the door is someone who will just cause you more harm than good, you control that doorknob to either keep locked or open. Please tell yourself again and again until you fully grasp the understanding that you are not responsible for those in the dark, those who are empty, and those who are unfulfilled. You are responsible for those inside with you, whether it be your dog, your cat, your children, or your spouse- you must protect those from within who you have established to be in your circle. Understand that to be dark is a choice to find comfort of what is not exposed to light; to be empty is a perception that all in life is never full, and to feel unfulfilled is to sulk on what could have been. People who choose to stay in this realm stay within this broken line of a circumference mainly because this is their only line of expertise- to dwell in such immobility of the heart, mind, body, and spirit. They are in and out of their feelings, thoughts, actions, and being. So there you are, understanding sacrifice and hard work to maintain stability for those within your core and there goes the knocking on your door. Do you open or do you ignore? Keep in mind, partaking with such will require your time and energy. Time and energy you must come to terms with on saving up for those in your core or give to those on the other side of the door who have plenty of time in their immobile life to use up and energy to siphon from you to fill theirs. Even more, any way you think to address whatever may be placed before you most likely will lead to distraction, an obstacle, a hindrance to your own path and purpose.
Before concluding, however, be mindful that we must also take it upon ourselves to get real when we are in the wrong. If one is truly insisting they are trying to help, consider yet another verse (Philippians 4:8) ‘8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.’ The antithesis to that would plainly be, if not true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable, then simply choose between #s 1-4 above. The door you choose to open is the one you solely have decided to let in. Be cognizant that once you open whichever door you choose, you have made the decision to own what you’ve invited in, affecting all those within your circle at cost.
