(FORENOTE: This entry will be the [newest] babel of all times. I am not sure why. All I am certain of is, after weeks of contemplating what this next entry should serve to be, the message will make sense to whoever it was meant for to take in.)
A new school year and already, before I met eyes with students who proceeded to walk into my classroom as I greeted them at the door for the first time, I smiled, knowing that I had already set focus on those very moments weeks ahead.
I had been ready. Well, at least the greeting part. This is middle school. Being ready is changeable in thought and belief at any given moment.
Still, I already declared another year victorious, even with the first day just commencing.
There will be moments requiring hard work, for sure, but as a mother of amazing five, and a wife of an exceptional husband, and many outstanding students who have come across the way, I know that greatness doesn’t develop overnight. Greatness will be at works to become.
The unanticipated will be that inevitable challenge, day in and day out.
What must be protected most amongst those we hold ourselves responsible to protect is the innermost of what is within us.
One frail and already defeated cannot protect those around.
Focus to protect the developing, a constant ask of the guard, the guard being you.
When something so magnificent can be seen to actually take place, attacks to take it down before completion take into form.
No one cares about the dreamers and even those making attempts to succeed.
Those succeeding, those actually creating change, those living the dreams- those are the targets to take down.
Where to start the disruption begins in the heart, the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Distraction and disruption arise.
There are moments where your focus, even when needed right here, at this very moment, is found elsewhere, unwarranted by the many push and pulls of the world.
Driven to be in train of thought, derailment works to take you off track.
In my golden years, I have embraced that energies within and around constantly fight to take control of direction.
The valuable pieces of all that must be protected within each of us can only be shielded to the level and degree of fortification we have worked to build.
The energy within must be more positive than any negative energy trying to dig under, climb over, somehow work around, or break through the walls.
The accountability to accept at the end of each day is what energy was let in, that now, lurks within what may have been once sanctified.
Sometimes, we vulnerably open the gate.
The enticement to oblige to smiles, seen as kind gestures, or nebulous moments brings in that Trojan Horse.
Ultimately, even when the alternative would cause one to lose everything precious to one’s soul, every moment is chosen.
The heart, the mind, the body, and the spirit led to every given point of destiny.
Stances with chins high, leveled, or dropped down, can be seen countlessly and endlessly all around.
Some moments collectively burdening leads to the heaviness for the head to keep itself held high.
But the beautiful choice to get up when down, to rise back up if fallen, and to step back on track, if and when, momentarily derailed, remains a choice.
No matter how long, one cannot stay down forever. That beauty of existence that which forces us to be rather than not to be.
Easier said than done when skies are clear with no clouds to be seen.
Not a storm in sight.
Refuge unneeded.
The heart, the mind, the body, and the spirit dance afloat the ground, so light of weight of the world, all well within the soul.
And, as if all must come to an end, the quiet darkness creeps into existence, clouds above, the ground, cold, freezing further harvest.
You thought that Yin was never in, Yang, but all it takes, sometimes, is a simple spot within the corridors to infiltrate darkness.
Yin and Yang. Dark and light. Both having found dominion within the firmament. Each infiltrated with the other to set as a reminder that all must always stand on guard.
The glass being half empty or half full, both a perspective to declare one’s mindset.
There are times, however, where the world tempts the mind to see not only half empty but just about a sip away from having nothing left to drink for survival.
I have had those years. When several years have been beautifully peaceful or peacefully beautiful, facing a year where all of a sudden you are forced to think and work harder- I can tell you at the least, recalling feelings of silent spite and bitterness.
How did this happen?
More to heavily accept, When did I allow all this to even begin?
The heart, the mind, the body, and the spirit- all in disarray as to which way to go at every given moment, many times not coinciding with one another, too panic-stricken to communicate as what to do next or even how to take the next step.
Those having hid quietly in the Trojan Horse, now all out at once, attacking, destroying, and taking all they can to get to you, their symbolism of victory.
After a moment of tremor, you find composure as you know you must.
You have been trained for this day. Slowly but surely, words of wisdom, journeys, displays of behaviors, silently testing your discernment to know right from wrong.
Resilience, i standing away to whisper loudly in your heart, your mind, your body, and your spirit to re-silence yourself, protect your innermost as you know how, and remain still.
That resilient you must remain standing and do what others think impossible to achieve during all angles of attack.
Remain victorious.
The eyes will watch.
The eyes have been watching.
The eyes will continue to watch.
Protect that child inside. The prancer. The dancer. The ever-so-joyful innocence that must be hidden from the world.
Your own heart. Your own mind. Your own body. Your own spirit. Conflicted amongst one another, focus lost, purpose forgotten.
The child within, taken, captured, and now, tainted by world, never to remain the same innocence again.
This, you must not allow.
The child must grow to its awaiting reign.
Take awareness of all trying to enter.
Yin and Yang will continue to coexist within the realm of energy to forego destinies, the checks and balances of your actions leading the way.
The fighting with your own energy to allow good judgment to take form, sometimes, most times, all times, will determine where you end up.
Moments disappointingly wasted simply because the experienced, mature, sane, or right attitude didn’t show up to wisely make the right moves or decisions will happen.
We stand guard sleepily, at times.
Falling off track. For what, for whom, and why, even, however, should be the inner ask.
Those time out and face-the-wall moments. Pouting, arguing, fighting with others instead of just focusing on doing what could have already been done.
Protect that which is within at all cost.
I have noted Nehemiah and the focus to finish rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem within several of previous entries; how everyone spread out to do their part, a tool in one hand and a weapon on the other.
Written to have started and finished in 52 days. No hocus. Just focus.
How interesting of an analogy I built up to understand deeper as years have given me more to observe interactions around me.
We have found ourselves now in a time zone where so many are racing to get to the next big stride while understanding that attacks to stop, slow down, replicate, or destroy concurrently take place, many times in stealthy ways.
Trojan Horses duplicated and replicated while being improved to create bigger and wider attacks to ensue innovation. (Renovation?)
Allow us to humorously (for now?), take note that non-contenders are allowed self-invitation to enter the arena, those who bought a ticket (troll in?) to cause physical, verbal, emotional, or spiritual deterrences.
Interestingly, like any drama allowing the experienced to segue into the forum for their input, lack of full understanding the scope of the future causes interference of what is now, the zeitgeist child who I have named, QUAI.
There are just those who want in on the destruction, not fortified development.
The focus to finish, that locus of control that I find must be shielded first and foremost. Not just from other contenders but those disgruntled-no-matter-what social club members.
To believe in your focus versus to genuinely know how much of your focus can be controlled by you. And, then, to actively focus thereon, thereafter.
Many front-liners are hard at work. As my newest saying is to my students and children, “Are you part of the help or part of the hurt?”
While I visualize Nehemiah doing his physical part to help, I also envision that he walked around, giving those who he saw perhaps wanting to give up, words of encouragement.
At the same time, those tirelessly resilient, determined to finish at whatever cost, helping those around them to also get their work done, I see Nehemiah patting those on the shoulder, quietly giving them words of affirmation, thanking those for their strong leadership and help.
Whatever role we have as leaders, I laugh at myself and think, there must always be an overseer to push even the greatest and most powerful leaders to move forth.
Yes. Even Nehemiah had One.
Who is your overseer, you must take note. If no one, there is the within.
With greatest burden as onlookers fixate on those ahead, leaders in heart, mind, body, and spirit must be pushed to finish at even greater weight.
When I think of pharaohs in the past where all of the people in the kingdom were under the very command of one, I actually also envision the pharaoh being directed by some other energy. Perhaps the vizier, the mother, or some other quiet, unseen confidant.
They could be voices directly being spoken set as drive and pressure to do more, be more, become more.
The voices could be within, always wanting to do more, be more, become more.
There may be no voices at all but a feeling or desire to do more, be more, become more.
All energies creating drive.
Like a person who should not be texting while driving, however, the amount of focus is up to the driver.
I watch and listen to all great leaders of today, whether intellectually or executively or sometimes in rarity, thankfully, both.
Time and money. A power’s rations.
I should just end this entry there for all to create their own narratives to finish my thoughts on that one.
The chariots have been pulled by the workhorses. If we cannot hear the galloping of the horses’ feet or the whips being whipped or the voices bellowing out orders as the wheels speedily keep turning, surely we can see a big race has begun.
And yet, is this race about speed or accuracy?
And, yet, is this race about speed or accuracy?
What criteria has been established to guarantee a true finish upon one truly arriving to such?
What will the finished product look like in the medical industry? In the computer industry? In the finance industry? In the mechanical industry? In the military industry? In the human industry?
It is finished.
Any specifications yet for our upcoming generation?
Has anyone gathered together to discuss these matters before anyone dare claim to be the winner? Of what?
Are we not made up to keep going?
Will we not just say, “What next?”
Will satisfaction be anyone’s satiation?
There is focus to finish whatever a mind is sought to complete. I get it. This should always be applauded and encouraged.
Those who don’t let down. Why would anyone want to discourage such feat?
Then, there is this conundrum.
I hear and see quite a few these days.
One of our sons shared with us a discussion they had in his class about the debate on whether or not all should require the same amount of pay or effort.
Universal basic income meets or fights with universal basic effort?
In every state? Sameness? Where will we each or all be upon such arrival?
As my oldest once shared with me in high school, perhaps a troubling epiphany for a state academic and wrestling champion as himself, that for students to get a C in class just means to show up and do the average.
Little did he know that his father and I were raised under that unspoken but learned mindset, the very reason why us breaking away from such, helped to reestablish a different mentality for he and his siblings.
Fast forward almost two decades later with our youngest in the car, I take note of protesters on the street, carefully reading over one of the signs, Spend less on warfare, More on healthcare.
Not a confusing suggestion; just an ongoing problem of many several choices on either side of walls.
Most recently I slowed down to eventually come to a halt upon seeing two young squirrels trying to cross the road.
One hurriedly made it through (I honestly remember its head looking back as if to say, “Come on now, Billy! Hurry!!” to the much smaller one scurrying a few feet behind.).
Upon the second one making it halfway through, I found myself at a full stop, happily seeing no one behind me and to my right, at least at an enough time for the the smaller of the two to finish crossing.
There, it found itself stopping in the middle, halfway through, me waiting for it to cross as I heard myself cheering it on to keep going.
It didn’t. I saw it pause to stop only to hesitantly tremble. Within the next instant, I continued to watch as it turned around to scurry back to where it had started on the other side, risking, again, being hit by the other cars going the opposite direction that it had collectively just succeeded in dodging.
I drove away troubled and somewhat irritated.
I heard myself yet again talking to the smaller squirrel as if it had been hearing my every word from when I first started cheering it on, this time with, “You were halfway through. You would have made it.”
Me, alone, in my car, carrying a depressingly burdening feeling of having witnessed young squirrels trying to cross a road and although more clear for the second half, one too shaken to finish.
That focus weighted by fear. More importantly, I wonder, how the fear was learned. Most importantly, who instilled the fear that led to the fear itself?
I think of my own children, my students, children all around, our next generation.
I smile, seeing an upside climb of respect and communal understanding that all contribute something to a bigger and better tomorrow.
I see it. I hear it. I feel it.
Divergent we may be right now to get all walls at different angles built up but in time, it may be more about keeping the walls from being broken down again.
Who on the other side may not matter as much as those who have managed to stay together on this side of the wall as one.
This phase soon enough will move on from the birthing of this evolution. Upon arrival of a further frontier, what will be most important, I can see now, will be reliance on each and everyone’s contributing focus.
Crossing roads. We all have a Billy to root for to make it to the other side.
What can we do now, in our locus of control, to create a unified oneness for our squirrels needing to fearlessly cross to the other side?
What for our children will we focus on carefully today so that when in time to cross, will they make it as well?
For our incredible squirrels heavy at work, I shall go with such a simple but team-needed ask, so purely stated,
“Tone down the drama.” –Jensen Hwang
Our squirrels need to cross.
