My husband is one of those type that smells change in your attitude and will call you out on it. I have had a few of my children and students throughout the years do the same. I cannot tell you how much, though the identified transparency is humbling and hurtful at the same time, angels like my husband, children, and students have helped me call myself out amidst my attempts to always hide what I know is… hurt and pain.
Pride and protection will get the best of us sometimes. I am almost certain that I do a pretty good job at compartmentalizing my life as a wife, mother, and teacher. Upholding myself to be the best in these roles, it never dawned to me to be anything less. I do not say this to offend or merely be in a state of conceit. Just in the same way people with a passion for something would state that they couldn’t see themselves being or doing anything else, so too, do I hold this mindset for my roles.
It is no surprise that where you put your best work in should be where you expect your best results, right? Hence, the expectation is just as much as the preparedness for greatness in all parts. But guess what? Even when greatness is achieved and you’re raising your cup to celebrate each victory, humble pie sometimes come served to you in a nice warm platter. There goes that audience of the empty, the dark, and the unfulfilled, awaiting to see you eat every bite. If only humble pies came with ice cream.
Never did I think that where you put your best work in would end up where you would hurt the most. Okay. All fitness trainers would probably be thinking right now, “Ummm… that’s a given.” I know. I know. Targeting areas of the body at the gym and feeling the muscle aches the next few days should have already scientifically proven this to me many years ago. And yet, application to reality need not apply. Why? In my case, it is because preparedness for such hurt to endure should be unwarranted. There is no preparation for this type of hurt.
The hardest working muscle in your body is your heart. So, it makes sense to say that if you put love into the mix of muscle pain you have that word, heartache. When a fitness instructor kindly compliments me on my strength and endurance, all the aches and pains endured the following days are eased by such acknowledgements of your hard work. However, no one comes to you with a high-five or any form of praise when your heart can be seen hurting. Not physically, of course. Rather, it’s the expression in your face, your lack of spark, your darkened demeanor, the change in speed of your walk, your talk, your… everything about you. You may try and lift yourself up for the world to see that you are and will always be fine, unstoppably standing. And yet, there’s that cliché being whispered into your ear, “Your heart is heavy”, the culprit to the weight in not just your heart, but now the metastases- your mind, body, and spirit. So, as the weight can no longer be endured, those around you see it in plain sight, too big, too heavy to hide. That humble pie awaits. What do you do?
You take a deep breath and to your most valorous victory, but unrelentingly the dismay of the dissatisfied audience, you smile. Pain is real. Take that humble pie with grace. Choose your shiniest silver or gold fork and one bite at a time, swallow each piece to digest. Humble pie may not have come with ice cream, but say to yourself that like science, you’ll have less calories to burn. Drink it down with some milk or water and feel your body eat it all away. Yep. Look into the eyes of the audience with full admittance. Pain is real. But you are still standing. No pain. No glory. And glory to the victory you shall move toward. That ice cream of your choice is there. Bowlfuls.
In the video, How to Work Through and Get Past a Divorce, you will be listening in on the young, the beautiful, and the starting anew, Jacqueline Belle. Please listen to her story as she shares with you how she was able to overcome divorce. And, for those of you who really can relate to this, you need to tune in.
