If the answer is yes, then the real question should be- Why do we stop listening?
In utter defense, could it be that we just come to a point at times in life where we feel to be so done with now that all there is mostly to think about is being over with this moment already to just get to the finish line?
Listening while running can be difficult. Yes?
Dr. Roe, chairman of the Psychology department at the university I attended, must have understood all of our faces on that last day of school. Although he only briefly showed a hint of such understanding, I want to trust he knew what we were feeling at that time. His urgency to convince us of his message just got in the way.
Simply put, he saw more in us, his graduating students, than any of us did of our own selves.
I was only a few days shy of receiving my Bachelors of Arts degree in Psychology with still summer to finish along with my teacher’s certificate requirements.
I still recall it to this day. It was sometime in May. It was our last day of this one painstaking class. So painstaking I cannot even recall which last psychology course it was to fulfill my psychology degree. It wasn’t the actual matter being taught. When you’ve taken one course after another under the same emphasis, at least for me, the only thought was to be done and be out.
By the time I was finishing up my last courses, I was ready to move ahead and forward without looking back. Yes. It got to that point where today, I can’t recall the last classes I had taken.
I was simply on auto mode. My human glitches still managed to get the best of me.
From my psychology degree to my courses to dually complete my teacher’s certificate, I was to my wits end with classes.
I recall my friend Joel who was waiting for his girlfriend at that time at the dining hall come out of the women’s restroom asking me how I was doing.
My thoughtful response? “Burnt out.” He knew me from high school and junior high (very few who, by chance, knew me during both earlier phases in my life). I knew he took my blunt response to be most honestly sincere without any attempts to be rash.
I had truly no other words. I would be able to walk during our spring commencement to receive my promissory BA degree in Psychology and Teacher’s Certification with still a summer course to finish.
If you’ve ever just persevered through a time in life where you did what you had to do not because you knew you would enjoy every moment of it, but only that it would get you to where you needed to be, agony and spite are just one of a few words to have to overcome.
By this time, completing courses with professors in your department becomes quite a puzzle finish. You’ve met them all, having completed at least one course from each.
It was a bittersweet feeling to know that in just a few days, professors you were used to seeing on a regular basis would just be a past in your life.
Dr. Roe came into our classroom with his usual swift walk before once again showing his ability to change that pace immediately to a calm and poised stance.
With his arms crossed and a happy grin on his face, he congratulated us on reaching this far.
I can’t recall if he had immediately put his hands in his pants pockets or waited to do so as he pushed up from the edge of the desk before pacing the room upon our reaction to his somewhat surprising question.
Actually, I want to say it was more from our lack of any reaction. Dr. Roe had just finished congratulating us on completing this phase in our lives when he then asked us, “So. How many of you are signed up to continue for your post-graduate degree? You guys all signed up for your Master’s, right?
Silence. More like, really, for me, confusion. Being a first college graduate in my family, I suddenly understood what it was like for families who never even finished high school to be asked if their child would be going to college.
It was like, “What? Our goal was to get here. We got here. Now, we’re done.”
Dr. Roe didn’t seem to be hiding his disappointment upon our silence. Right away he began to jiggle his fingers in his pockets while taking them out at times to cross his arms.
His tone went from joyful to sound more now like a parent who was standing before you trying to find the right words to explain his viewpoint.
He was adamant about going right away for your post-graduate degree; how important it was to keep going; that we have just completed a phase, but not truly finished the full path to our educational success.
I felt his apparent growing frustration to get his point across our young minds. After all, he stood before us having reached the level of a doctorate degree. Indeed, we merely reached the brim of the first cup and we acted as if we were all satiated and thus, full.
Our lack of hunger for more clearly disappointed him. Surely, if I were to take the time to research his background, he was one of those who must have immediately went for his post-graduate degree soon after he attained his undergraduate degree. No doubt. Otherwise, why would he be pacing the room, interchanging his hands from his pockets to then clasping his arms as he crossed them to express his strong convictions on the importance to keep going.
The class just continued to sit and listen. Not one raised their hand and said they changed their mind. Perhaps we were that mediocre group of students. Perhaps. All I knew for myself was that at that time, even though I was honestly perplexed, not realizing you had the option to immediately keep going for your post-graduate phase soon after, I dared not ask or comment.
I was tired. From the silence, I figured I wasn’t alone. I was so tired that upon my graduation a few days later, only two of my siblings attended to see me walk. This only happened by chance because my husband had informed them.
In my mind, all I thought was, “Just give me my degree and certificate.” I wasn’t in for the glory. I was in for the purpose of moving forward.
I did not receive my Master’s immediately after as Dr. Roe had hoped and did, quite frankly, a good job of passionately trying to convey the importance of doing so the next school year.
I understand so much more now as a parent seeing my children’s potential beyond what they see in themselves.
It is the toughest battle to fight because those who you are looking at have hardly started to look at themselves.
You ache to know they see so little potential of who they can become.
You arrive at knowing it will be only in their pursuit to see how much more they each are capable of doing where and when they will truly understand.
Dr. Roe would be happy to know at least one of his students in that class eventually received a Master’s in Psychology. One day I plan on going for that doctoral degree, but granted at the moment, my acquired years of continued professional development courses have accrued to the same level, it will be only a matter of choice, once again, where I will think, “Okay, Dr. Roe. Let’s have that title you’ve modeled and led long enough.”
There was nothing wrong with our professor’s surprising reaction when I look back now. To think of it, I don’t think I was surprised then. Aside my ignorance of anything more beyond what I was reaching for, I have to wonder how many of us in that room thought or felt the same.
Twenty-two. I’m beyond double that age now and funny thing is, I’m just starting to understand those who truly believed in me.
You get to a time in life where you think, “I’ve arrived” only to hear that one person suggest you could do more.
I tell you, it’s easy to dismiss such people in your lives because you may all of a sudden feel with them around, you will never be satisfied of yourself. And yet, subconsciously, they are your inner push to keep going.
At a young age, you may blame those who pushed you or questioned your desire to do more for yourself as to why you are insatiable with today.
Almost half a century of age, I hunger for those very same mentalities and force- the very same ones whom I questioned truly “understood” all I had already been going through.
Dr. Roe may have understood, but like the few who never gave me any excuses, pushing me forth to have the desire and drive to succeed, they didn’t look to care what I was telling myself was holding me back from pursuing more.
The idea is to always know you can do more and thus, must do more.
I need to be reminded of this the way I should have truly embraced the words of Dr. Roe at the moment he passionately spoke them.
That hunger to do more and be more must continue. I realize this now. While I do know the importance of stopping to smell the flowers within moments of exhalation, there is so much of each of us to uncover and pursue.
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Did not Matthew quote this having been spoken as part of our duty?
I’d like to think there are acting fathers here on earth who want to keep reminding us of this. Dr. Roe may have not gotten to me that day, but he surely planted a seed in my bones that only grew in time until I went for what he said that day I was sitting in that classroom ready to just call my education chapters a finish.
There are definite days where the path looks dismal and at times, grim. Where there hardly stands light, darkness feels to win. Feeling “burnt out” gets real.
Those who plant seeds of light in you only need you to remember that no matter how small the light planted seemed, that goodness, push, and sincere words of belief in you were far enough to light the path upon your feet, not meant to be neglected or ignored.
The question within your control to ask and answer is- Have you stopped listening?
